expectations

I got my CAS number in the mail today. What am I saying, mail. It was through email. We don’t get mail anymore, and when we do, it is just the bills we avoid paying and flyers for restaurants we will never go to. In any case, I got my CAS number which means I can now apply for my visa to live in the UK. Shit is getting very real. Right now, since quitting my job, I am living a near perfect life as a slacker/degenerate 20 something where I have no discernible responsibilities, and I spend most of my days having philosophical discussions on stoops while drinking coffee or drinking 4$ dirty martinis at 4 in the afternoon. But now, things are going to happen. I am actually going to have to start doing things! I think being out of school for so long has damaged me to an extent because I now am told pretty frequently that I make essay topics out of everything and am too analytical of everyday situations and even make case studies out of friends. Sorry, guys. While previously, my life was pretty well laid out. I went to a good high school, and then knew that I was going to get into a good cegep and then a good university. However, the part that comes after is now so…vague. This year, I worked a bit, smoked a lot, danced A LOT to beyonce, and in the interim applied to go to school in London. To be honest, I don’t know that much about London, except that it is a land of people with accents that are nicer than mine, there is something called a roast which I am told I need to try, and there is a large clock. Oh, and a Queen. It is a city I am weirdly excited to move to not because I know much about it, but because of how much I don't know about it. Montreal is one of the best cities ever and I have been lucky to have travelled pretty extensively and thus think I have a range of cities with which to compare it. However, I know it probably too well, to the point where it is losing its luster and sometimes I feel like I hate all of the people. Not knowing London well has its negative sides as well, because I now have ALL of the expectations. I want to love it. I want to not miss Montreal. I want things to just fall into place. But I am not sure if they will. What if my master’s programme ends up being the worst and the people are mean and the guys are just as bad there and I drink tea improperly and I accidentally trip Kate Middleton and then the Queen bans me from the city??? Ok. Freak out over. Back to my visa application.