Case of the Fake People

Ever since elementary school, I have grappled with the concept of what it means to be cool, and why it is a quality that people often try to achieve. Do people who are cool know that they are cool? What actually constitutes “coolness?” When I was in elementary school, being cool meant having the most butterfly clips and bracelets from this silly accessories store at our local mall that was essentially comprised of this one store, a muffin shop, and a pirate ship. When I got to high school, those who were cool were the girls who wore makeup first, drank alcohol at bars first with fake ids, and those girls who linked arms in the hallway and stood in front of the mirror while pointing out what they found ugly about themselves. I know, fucked up. But that is what it was (private school. It’s a thing).  Essentially, those considered cool were those who feigned adulthood before they were anything near that in actuality. By the time I entered cegep and then university, being cool meant something entirely different.  Rather than celebrating assimilation, being cool now meant making yourself stand out in some way. I found this particularly refreshing, because I never felt that I was able to “fit in” as they say with the people in my high school, and thus found this new environment so much easier as it allowed me to be my weird self and not feel insecure about it. I find it so fascinating that we spend our childhoods trying to fit in, and our adult lives trying to set ourselves apart from the masses. Perhaps it is a result of our impending adulthood that we come to realize that we are not immortal. As a result, it is my understanding that as we get older, we seek to distinguish ourselves from others as a means of survival, and in effect, do this to achieve whatever form of immortality that is at our disposal. Thus, I believe that those who upon entering adulthood, put on this facade of coolness do so purposely perhaps because they are afraid and insecure about their existence and place in this world (hipsters, I’m talking to you). The "cool" ones are no different than everyone else and are not even cool. Just a bit more afraid of death.